Pruning

I spent much of the day two days ago outside working on trimming our bushes, pulling weeds, and just generally cleaning up now that everything is green again. I definitely don't have a green thumb, but I can apparently keep the hardier bushes and green things alive. LOL

We had a late, hard freeze over the not-so-winter Winter months early this year and I realized too late that the flower bed my husband and boys built in the corner of the yard was juuuuuuust raised enough that I should've covered the bushes there. My absolute favorite of my plants, my Gardenias, turned brown shortly after. I was SO bummed! They don't flower for a super long time each year but when they do, my backyard smells heavenly. I could've kicked myself for not realizing that the soil would cool so easily.

But low and behold, as I was out trying to tame the crazy vines that make up the Star Jasmine in the same bed, I noticed that even though the majority of my Gardenia bushes were a dry brown, there were, in fact, green leaves growing on some of the branches again! I knew immediately what I needed to do. I HAD to prune them! I had to be sure to cut away every single leaf and branch that was NOT growing new greenery. I knew that in order for those bushes to give all of their strength and energy to the new growth, that the old had to be removed.

In doing so, I realized that was exactly what God is doing in my own life right now. Day by day, little by little, He's helping me cut away the excess, so I can spend my energy on areas of new growth. He is breaking through walls of self doubt, showing me all of the junk (physical, spiritual, emotional and relational) that is keeping me from functioning at my best.

There is so much "extra" in today's world. The pressure of expectations, the draw of instant gratification, the sexualization of every brand of every item that ever was, the constant idea that we need more or better every time we turn around, a new fashion trend every week, a new social media or game app to download, a new political candidate to trash, a new tv show that's all the rage...everywhere you turn, every aspect of our lives in today's society is telling us we're not good enough, we don't have enough, we aren't pretty enough or strong enough. We are in a constant race for MORE. NEWER. BETTER...

But what if in our search for better we miss entirely what is best??

What if while we are busy basking in the temporal, we completely forsake the eternal?

I see SO many people living life and shouting "YOLO!--You only live once!" But the reality is, (and I wish I could take credit for it, but I simply read it somewhere), You live EVERY day. You only DIE once. Tomorrow isn't guaranteed, today is all we've got.

So rather than get caught up in the immediate, the urgent, what if we spent our days focused on the important? Allow God to break us of our need for acceptance and approval, tearing away the focus of what the world says we need, and instead growing deeper in our knowledge of Him and who He CREATED us to be?

The hard part is, pruning isn't fun. And it definitely isn't easy. You have to step out of your comfort zone. You have to be willing to do the hard work. Maybe it's with your health. Maybe it's with your job. Maybe it's with toxic relationships in life. Whatever it is, if it needs to be left behind, stripped away or given up, I promise it will be for a greater purpose. Letting go, purging, allowing yourself to be pruned results in freedom to do more with the life you've been given.

Less brings more. I think I like the sound of that.

When You Want It All

By nature, I am a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants type of girl. I usually jump first and ask questions later. I am not patient and I tend to skip over the more important questions one should ask when having a new idea and deciding if I should "go for it". I usually make up the plan as I go...I'm cool like that.

Because patience is NOT my strong suit, I find this is where God tends to give me the most practice. In case you missed our whole adoption journey, you are welcome to relive the crazy in my wait here, here or even here. Those are just the last 3 frustrated and having no patience posts I wrote about our journey. There are MANY more. I see a theme where every time I struggle with patience, God gives me something else to practice it in. I'm here to tell ya, if you pray for patience, wisdom, courage, passion, or any other number of things, God will NOT just give it to you. Instead, He's going to give you opportunities to become stronger in those areas--in other words, ways in which to practice the very thing you are asking for. And really, isn't that the best thing anyway? I mean, when your child asks for help with something, or asks how to do something, while it would be easier to do it for them, it teaches them nothing. Isn't it always better to show them, to guide them, to give them opportunities to practice and hone their skills in that area? So it is with God, I believe. Therefore, since patience seems to be my biggest struggle, it is the area I receive the ability to practice in the most! Yay. Me. LOL

I frequently find myself wanting ALL THE THINGS. I do, I want them all. I want my walk with Christ to be so solid that others see Him first. I want the land. I want the little house. I want to be healthier. I want my hubby at a job he loves. I want our business to succeed. I want to open the B&B. I want to start my non-profit. I want to adopt all the kids. I want to foster all the kids. I want to find work for those needing a job. I want to build a tiny house village for the homeless. I want to be a writer, an artist, a designer. And to be honest, if I happen to sit down and catch any of the myriad of shows I used to regularly watch, then I also want to flip houses, be a fire fighter, be a doctor and travel the world...but I digress...

The reality is is two-fold.

First, it doesn't all just happen "now". It takes time. IT TAKES PATIENCE. It takes focus, determination, a solid plan. Did I mention it takes patience?? I can't make it all happen right now, no matter how hard I try. But you know what I can do? I can take one step today. I can make a list of what all needs to happen and start with the first one. I can actively tackle today. I can use my time wisely. I can give of myself today. I can work on myself today. I can spend time in the Word today. Because I'm not promised tomorrow. And I can't change the decisions I made yesterday. But I can choose how I spend THIS day, THIS moment. How do you eat an entire elephant?? One bite at a time.

Second, the joy is in the JOURNEY. The lessons are in the JOURNEY. When I get there, when I've hit all those goals, it will feel great for a moment, and I'll be able to celebrate. But then I'll have new dreams, new goals, new purpose and passions I'm meant to fulfill. But I don't for one second, even in my impatience, want to miss ALL GOD IS DOING NOW. I don't want to skip over the journey or I miss out on who I am becoming. There is a purpose greater than myself as to why I am on this path. It's not only to do what I can to change the world around me...it's to change me as well. There are parts of our past that I would rather not live over again. However, there were lessons learned and we are who we are now because of them. THAT part, I wouldn't change for the world.

So as much as I want it all, as much as I want it now, I rest in the fact that God sees it all much better than I. I do what I can, with what I've been given for today, making sure not to miss the journey for the destination.

(I also thank GOD for an already patient and fun loving husband who loves me through my crazy!!)

Room to Breathe

No matter what type of life change you make, be it personal, financial, physical, spiritual...when it begins to happen, one side effect is automatically a deeper understanding of oneself. If you are truly open to change, and willing to do what it takes to make that happen, you are forced to be real, open, and honest with yourself. There is no other way.

So I find myself pulling a lot of "skeletons" out of my closet, per se. Because we are only just beginning this journey, it leads me to believe that I will only find more the further we go. For example, in finally making the decision to purge, I've come to the realization that I am somewhat of a closet hoarder. Meaning, I don't think if you just came over to visit that you'd think to yourself "That girl has issues. She hangs on to everything!" However, if you were to spend any length of time in our school/craft room (prior to that purge), in my closet, any of my out of the way cabinets...you might say just that!

This journey started for me sometime last year when I first heard about the documentary "The Minimalists" on Netflix. I really couldn't tell you now how I first heard about it or even why. But the idea behind it intrigued me, so I watched it. Aaaaaand then I made my family sit down and watch it. LOL. They weren't thrilled at first, but after watching it, the ideas began to flow for ALL of us! Later, I read the book The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing by Marie Kondo. It truly changed how I view the things I have and the value I place on them. Now, my goal is to only hold on to those things I actively use and those that bring me joy. Knowing that my focus is to keep only what I love, I find it easier to let go of those things I don't.

When going through my closet, for example, I recognized that I had 5-6 versions of the same shirt. They were just different colors. I was able to admit to myself that while I loved that shirt, I truly only wear 2 of the colors I have it in. Out go the rest! Also, I found I hang on to things I "might wear again someday." However, when I finally get to where I CAN wear them again, am I really going to? I mean, I've had them now for YEARS. House to house to house, I have kept them, packed them, moved them with me, allowing them to clutter up my closet every where I go! In fact, in an attempt to be completely transparent here (because I truly believe only when we are REAL with each other can we help each other grow)...one of the things I've held on to was a dress from our 1997 UNFORMAL IN COLLEGE!!! There. I said it. But allowing myself to admit that I didn't need it, use it or even love it, allowed me to get rid of it!

I have to say--not only was I hesitant to start purging (even though I really REALLY wanted to), I wasn't sure if it would truly make a difference in the end. Y'all, I can now say, just a few weeks in, I've realized two things.

1. I had NO IDEA how much stuff I had. For realz. It just did not occur to me how much I was hanging on to! I mean oodles and oodles and oodles of stuff that, even though it might've once been used or loved, was just no longer needed or relevant or even wanted anymore. I am getting rid of stuff left and right! Sean even told the kids the other day "Lookout, your mom's on a mission! I told her she could sell whatever she wanted, even the armoire, last night. Today, it's gone! Make sure you're doin as you're told or you might be next!" LOL (**of course he was totally joking, but you get the point).

2. I have ROOM TO BREATHE!!! I never realized how stifling and absolutely time and energy consuming stuff can be! I sold the armoire in our room--It feels like I added 100 sq ft more space! I cleaned out and purged our school/craft room and now I feel like I could host an event in there!! Now obviously I tend to exaggerate a little, but I swear--there is a physical difference in how I feel in both of those spaces. It is palpable. It is real. An actual weight has been lifted from my soul. I now have less stuff to clean, less stuff to take care of, and that means more time for the things I WANT to spend time on.

I know that it's easy to share on these things from behind a computer screen, to tell all of my stories and my excitement. You may be thinking "Yeah that's great for you, but that wouldn't work for me. I don't have the time/energy/ability/desire/etc". If I could encourage you to do ONE thing today, to take that next step, it would be to purge something, anything. Start with your closet. If that's too close to home, start with a hall closet, or even just one drawer. Marie Kondo suggests in her book that you physically pick up and hold each thing you are considering. Look at it, ask yourself what value it holds, if it is something that truly brings you joy. If it does not, get rid of it. It's that simple.

Start with one drawer. Start today. But just START. I promise you will be SO glad you did. And if you need a little bigger nudge? Watch that documentary or read that book. Or both. They are food for the soul.

Blessings,

**Disclaimer: I get no kickbacks from sales of the book mentioned, from Amazon, the author, or otherwise.

The View From Here

I sit here, preparing to write my next post, an attempt to explain why we are choosing to walk this path, and I am overwhelmed by all that I have...

This is the view from here:

But the thing is...I don't say that in a necessarily good way. Don't get me wrong--I am thankful for all that we have. I have a beautiful home, "nice" things, even "fancier" things like an outdoor kitchen, a theater room, a sprinkler system. But when I look at the view from here? I see that fence. It's like a wall in my mind. I feel trapped, almost. And it's not so much my location as it is my lifestyle that I find so stifling.

You see, I've now been on both ends of the spectrum. I've had next to nothing. And when I say "next to nothing", I'm referring to having so little that I shared a bed with my mom. Having so little that we stood in line for "commodities" of powdered milk and processed cheese to survive. And for a number of years in school my lunches were free. That was back in the day before food stamps and WIC. My mama was divorced and raising 3 kids virtually on her own. And later on, after Sean and I were married, there was a time we qualified for WIC. I remember distinctly the day he almost had a nervous breakdown because I called him to say we needed milk and diapers, and he didn't have enough money for both. It was HARD. 

Now I am on the other side and have more than I need. I have the freedom to stay home, the freedom to homeschool (yes not everyone can make that choice when they want to), the freedom to sit here and blog about my story. I am surrounded by many of the things the world says I need to be happy. And yet...

And yet we've come to realize that things don't make you happy. Sean always dreamed of having a theater room. He always thought "One day, that will be awesome..." But the reality was, it rarely got used. Maybe twice a year, at most. We probably regularly use about 60-70% of the space we have...but we are paying for it all. So we've placed ourselves in a "lifestyle" that doesn't really fit our needs. The upkeep and expense of living a life beyond your needs is exhausting.

But I can hear it now...you're sitting there saying "but these things make my kids happy, they expect to participate in or have, (xyz)."  Are you sure about that? For certain? As parents, it's nearly automatic, like an innate desire, to try to give your children what you didn't have. We always want more for our kids. But how do we determine what those "things" are? Sadly, I think most of us look around and see what we don't have and use that to determine what we "need". We watch shows on tv and people on social media and try to replicate our perception of their lifestyle, thinking it will make us happy, fulfilled.  But I think if you sat down and asked your kids what they truly want, you may be pleasantly surprised. We were.

In contemplating Sean leaving his job at some point, of running our mobile detailing business and eventually a B&B, we sat down and had a heart to heart with the kids the other night. We asked them their thoughts on living with less...letting them know that there was no "wrong" answer. We only wanted to know their honest opinions on how much they value the things we have and the things we do. They ALL agreed that we rarely use parts of our home, that they wouldn't miss them if they were gone, that it seemed like wasted space. They ALL agreed that their preference was more family time, building a business that we could all do together, finding ways to spend less money and only have/use things that we actually need. It took us by surprise, to be honest. We thought for sure they'd wanna stay in our home, keep our things. Only one of our boys said he'd prefer to stay put if possible--but he added that if we had to make changes for Sean to leave his job, that was most important.

So here we sit...preparing for the next move toward our future. We know we will leave our current home, but whether we sell or rent it out is up for debate...as is the timing of it all. We covet your prayers for this new path we are forging for our family. And when you have a spare moment, I encourage you to read this post by Joshua Becker on some Truths About Money.

http://www.becomingminimalist.com/rethink-money-and-breathe/

I LOVE his quoting of Zig Ziglar, "Money won't make you happy, but everybody wants to find that out for themselves."

It's SO true, friends. I pray you find some ways, whether large or small, to move your family toward more freedom, less stress, and more purpose-driven living.

Blessings,

All the New Things

I have to say, this last month has been a whirlwind. Who'd have thought that adding one more little person and her birthday to the mix would make this time of year that much more crazy?? I mean, she's only ONE person! But when you add in doctor appointments, speech therapy, post placement visits, and the fact that her birthday falls in the 6 week time frame that we now have FIVE birthdays in (not counting extending family in there either!)...well, it all adds up. But it is SO much fun and she is SO very worth it!! Anyway, to the purpose of this post...

Do you ever feel led to do something totally out of your comfort zone? Something you didn't see coming? Something that wasn't in "the plan"? Well that's where we are right now. We have some changes up ahead, ones we didn't see coming, but ones we are so completely excited about!

A little back story for you: It's been coming for a while now, but I would say definitely as of the end of last year, we knew that Sean wouldn't be staying at his job long term, for many reasons. I won't go into them all here but suffice it to say, we've been praying over and discussing the future for well over 6 months now. As of January 22nd of this year, we started a small side business as many of you know. It's now been less than 3 months and we are SO busy! It has taken off faster than we ever expected and it has been such a huge blessing to our family--and we haven't really even marketed much! But that is only part of the journey...

At the core of who we are, at the heart of where we feel God is leading, we want restoration...for our family, for our neighbors, for our community, for every individual that we come into contact with. SO many people are hurting, our nation is hurting. And it would be so easy to believe there's little we can do, when there's only a handful of us. But we serve a BIG God. And we believe that when He gives you a vision, He intends for you to fulfill it. So we are seeking to serve, to give, to build relationships with those around us...to begin the process of restoration. We have to start somewhere.

So the first part of the new "plan" (and I use that word loosely because we all know how easily plans can change), is to focus on getting our business off the ground. That will happen more intently over the next month or two. At the same time, we have begun the process of purging. Many of you know I spoke of it a few posts back and about my desire to have less clutter and more time, less stuff and better relationships. We purged and had a garage sale. Then we've loaded up the remaining items and donated them. The next phase, however, won't be quite so easy.

We aren't 100% sure if the plan will be to sell our home or simply rent it out. Both options have pros and cons. So that has yet to be determined. But what we DO know is we will be in search of land by the end of the year. For now, we are patiently waiting for the right time, then we will move forward and find a temporary home to rent. This will allow us to either have an income property in our current home or allow us to sell it altogether so that we are able to purchase the right land when we find it.

Once we are on land...well, that's even more exciting! We want to open a Bed & Breakfast. We want to create a space where people can come to get away...whether they want to visit local attractions or just relax on our property to rejuvenate their souls. There's even a strong possibility that dear friends of ours will purchase adjoining acreage and supply us with all the foods we will prepare for those who visit, as well as help us run the B&B!

There are so many many aspects of this process, this vision that we have, that I cannot list them all. But suffice it to say, we are truly, truly excited about where God is leading, about all that He is doing, about the vision laid out before us. It has already changed our family so much and we are only just beginning!

I will try to post at least twice a week on here to keep you all in the loop. Our prayer is that as you see God moving in our story, that somehow, you will be blessed, that you will be challenged to step out and allow Him to do the unforeseen in your lives as well.

Blessings,