As a wise writer once penned, "Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get." Truer words have never been spoken...
So it seems there's been a little confusion on our part. We believed that the process a file takes to be SWI (Social Welfare Institute), then Provincial Civil Affairs, then CCCWA (main government). So when we were told it had left her city, we were thrilled. We were also confused. Apparently, the process is City, SWI, Provincial CA, CCCWA. Meaning, when we thought her file was headed for the Provincial CA level, it was really only headed to the SWI. So we are further behind in the process than we thought. Obviously (and understandably) this is quite disappointing.
However, we have been asking, repeatedly, for months, and we've been told--REPEATEDLY, that it should move to the Provincial CA in "about two weeks". So after the last update of the same old thing, I emailed our agency again and just poured out my heart and my frustration. I admitted that I was very discouraged and quite weary of waiting and nothing seeming to change. I think at that point they finally looked back at all of the updates we were receiving and realized that they had repeatedly been told the same thing. I can understand how, with so many adoptive families, the details of one can be easily overlooked...
So today I received an email out of the blue, explaining that our caseworker emailed China and basically said, "Can we figure out what is going on because the family is frustrated, we're being told the same thing with no changes, and this child has waited long enough!" GLORY HALLELUJAH, finally I feel like my exact thoughts were sent to China!!!! Until now it's been more of a "hey would you mind checking on this file for us please?" type of email. So for that, I am thankful!
Also in the email was the response she had received telling her that two of the China staff would be TRAVELING TO HER CITY TO GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THINGS. I cried. Big 'ol mama tears. I feel as if an extension of myself is actually actively pursuing our girl--as if they finally get it--as if they are finally FIGHTING for her. So my frustration over the confusion is also covered in hope--the hope that we may finally get some real movement, or at least some real information on where her file is. It is a baby step, for sure. But I pray that this is just the push they need (and maybe the desire to clear their desks before Chinese New Year!!) to get my girls file further down the road.
So now we wait. But we also pray. Won't you join us? Here are our specific requests:
1. Pray for answers. This journey to her city will be happening TONIGHT our time!! Pray they meet the right people to spur the process forward.
2. Pray for clear paths in China, and for her file to land in the hands of people who believe that she is loved and cherished and needs to come home soon.
3. Pray for me. My mama heart is weary. My anxiety builds the longer we wait. Pray for peace and continued patience throughout the rest of this journey.
4. Pray for our family. Pray that we will be using these last few months as a family of 6 to prepare our hearts for Mei Mei's arrival and all that she will need from each of us, but that we would also be enjoying this time together and not wishing it away.
God has heard my cries and He knows my heart. Even in the struggle, the wait, the pain of not yet holding my daughter, He brings friends, and worship, and divine appointments with others--just when my soul needs them most. When I am at my lowest, when I feel I've reached the end and I am consumed with it all--He is there. And He renews my hope, and my strength, to go yet another day. My God is good. ALL THE TIME.
"but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." --Isaiah 40:31
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