A Holy Moment

For me, God's voice never comes audibly. In fact, usually when God is urging me to do something, say something, or head a specific direction, He usually does it ever so subtle, as more of a nudge, an idea, a simple thought that leads to more, over time. I don't think I've ever had Him speak directly to my heart in a clear, strong way that left me without doubt or questions in a given moment...that was, until today...

This morning, as I was getting ready for the day, I found myself frustrated, realizing how fast time was flying due to the holidays and our crazy schedule. I began praying to God in my frustration, just being real about how hard it is not knowing where Mei Mei's file is in the process, not really knowing the process itself (on the China side) and how much I longed to hold my daughter and HAVE HER HOME ALREADY. I would say it was more venting than praying, to be honest. I wasn't looking for an answer, or even guidance, I was just pouring out my heart. I began to think through the time frame, and wondered if we would even make it in time for her birthday in April. For me, that has been my end goal...to have her home or at least be with her in China, for her birthday. 

In that moment, God spoke to my heart clearer than ever before. It was not audible, but I knew exactly what it was...the same way I've known in my heart, for years now, that Mei Mei was our daughter, the first time I saw her face. He made it clear that it was time to "prepare my village/pack my bags". He is moving, and I'm here to tell you, something BIG is about to happen. I am expecting it to happen this month, but maybe even in the next few days. All I know is, He gave me a sense of urgency like never before. The emotion in the moments that followed were overwhelming. I was a complete mess. As I stood there in my bathroom, I had to sit down at the side of the tub because I was overcome with a sobbing, ugly cry. It was a mixture of relief, joy, utter thankfulness and praise. Praise for the God who sees, the God who hears, the God who knows the cry of my heart and has not forgotten me. He and He alone is in control. AND HE IS BRINGING HER HOME...AND SOON.

Two friends mentioned to me TODAY how we'd been on their hearts all day long, that they'd been praying for us more than ever, today. In talking to my mama about all of this, she shared that God had spoken to her the very same way about me, before she even knew she was pregnant. I'm telling you, GOD IS MOVING.

Don't get me wrong...this adoption process takes time. And I don't believe for one minute that we are leaving this month. But I have complete faith that God is moving in mighty ways, that we will have big news, and soon. For now...I have things to do...because I need to be ready when He makes the way. 

"Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to HIM be the glory..."  Eph. 3:20-21