The View From Here

I sit here, preparing to write my next post, an attempt to explain why we are choosing to walk this path, and I am overwhelmed by all that I have...

This is the view from here:

But the thing is...I don't say that in a necessarily good way. Don't get me wrong--I am thankful for all that we have. I have a beautiful home, "nice" things, even "fancier" things like an outdoor kitchen, a theater room, a sprinkler system. But when I look at the view from here? I see that fence. It's like a wall in my mind. I feel trapped, almost. And it's not so much my location as it is my lifestyle that I find so stifling.

You see, I've now been on both ends of the spectrum. I've had next to nothing. And when I say "next to nothing", I'm referring to having so little that I shared a bed with my mom. Having so little that we stood in line for "commodities" of powdered milk and processed cheese to survive. And for a number of years in school my lunches were free. That was back in the day before food stamps and WIC. My mama was divorced and raising 3 kids virtually on her own. And later on, after Sean and I were married, there was a time we qualified for WIC. I remember distinctly the day he almost had a nervous breakdown because I called him to say we needed milk and diapers, and he didn't have enough money for both. It was HARD. 

Now I am on the other side and have more than I need. I have the freedom to stay home, the freedom to homeschool (yes not everyone can make that choice when they want to), the freedom to sit here and blog about my story. I am surrounded by many of the things the world says I need to be happy. And yet...

And yet we've come to realize that things don't make you happy. Sean always dreamed of having a theater room. He always thought "One day, that will be awesome..." But the reality was, it rarely got used. Maybe twice a year, at most. We probably regularly use about 60-70% of the space we have...but we are paying for it all. So we've placed ourselves in a "lifestyle" that doesn't really fit our needs. The upkeep and expense of living a life beyond your needs is exhausting.

But I can hear it now...you're sitting there saying "but these things make my kids happy, they expect to participate in or have, (xyz)."  Are you sure about that? For certain? As parents, it's nearly automatic, like an innate desire, to try to give your children what you didn't have. We always want more for our kids. But how do we determine what those "things" are? Sadly, I think most of us look around and see what we don't have and use that to determine what we "need". We watch shows on tv and people on social media and try to replicate our perception of their lifestyle, thinking it will make us happy, fulfilled.  But I think if you sat down and asked your kids what they truly want, you may be pleasantly surprised. We were.

In contemplating Sean leaving his job at some point, of running our mobile detailing business and eventually a B&B, we sat down and had a heart to heart with the kids the other night. We asked them their thoughts on living with less...letting them know that there was no "wrong" answer. We only wanted to know their honest opinions on how much they value the things we have and the things we do. They ALL agreed that we rarely use parts of our home, that they wouldn't miss them if they were gone, that it seemed like wasted space. They ALL agreed that their preference was more family time, building a business that we could all do together, finding ways to spend less money and only have/use things that we actually need. It took us by surprise, to be honest. We thought for sure they'd wanna stay in our home, keep our things. Only one of our boys said he'd prefer to stay put if possible--but he added that if we had to make changes for Sean to leave his job, that was most important.

So here we sit...preparing for the next move toward our future. We know we will leave our current home, but whether we sell or rent it out is up for debate...as is the timing of it all. We covet your prayers for this new path we are forging for our family. And when you have a spare moment, I encourage you to read this post by Joshua Becker on some Truths About Money.

http://www.becomingminimalist.com/rethink-money-and-breathe/

I LOVE his quoting of Zig Ziglar, "Money won't make you happy, but everybody wants to find that out for themselves."

It's SO true, friends. I pray you find some ways, whether large or small, to move your family toward more freedom, less stress, and more purpose-driven living.

Blessings,