Some days I look at my life and I just don't get it. I don't believe it's real. I don't understand why we are where we are. As I've mentioned before, as recently as yesterday, life is not always a bowl of cherries 'round here. It can be hectic. It can be downright crazy (um, hello?? I have FOUR kids). It can be hard and sad and just plain stinky--which I firmly believe is pretty much everyone's life everywhere on any given day, because we are normal people trying to navigate this thing called life. But it's also beautiful, unbelievable, and 100% paradise (as my beautiful Aunt Kendra likes to say). It's filled with people I love, in a place I love, doing what I love. Paradise.
I've been told I'm "spoiled". (Sadly, I let that bother me simply because the person who said it doesn't have a clue who I am and simply made a judgment call based on material observation I suppose.) The truth is, yes I love my life. But I don't in anyway deserve it. And to be honest, I could give it all up tomorrow without a second thought. Because it's just ALL THE THINGS. It's stuff. It's material possessions. It's not who I am, it does not determine my value, it does not make me a better or worse person. It's just stuff. Give me the people that I love and I have all that I need. I can make do with way less and be perfectly content. How do I know? Because I've been there. I've lived with next to nothing. I've stood with my mom in the commodities line waiting for our turn at free groceries. I've flushed a toilet with a bucket of water because my dad's electricity was shut off for lack of money to pay the bill. I learned early on that happiness doesn't come from things--it comes from within--how you CHOOSE to feel. I've been perfectly content with nothing and I'm content now, having all the things...at least to some degree.
The thing is, I'm actually less content now than I was when we had nothing. It's not that I NEED anything. Quite the contrary--I struggle with the idea that I have things I don't need. **Again--please understand this just me being honest, sharing my heart--I truly truly feel very undeserving of the life I currently have and that is precisely why I'm sharing all of this.** At the heart of the matter, I just don't want to be a consumer. I don't want to go through life comfortable with having all the things and being content within my own walls, within my own life. I want to be used. I want to be able to bless others. I want to be uncomfortable with the idea that there are those around me who struggle every day just to find food and shelter, rather than being content to live as though they don't exist, like it's not my problem. I want to use what I've been given, what I've been entrusted with, to give back, to make a difference.
So I'm starting where I can--with our home. I've decided that my unstructured nature will just have to deal with the fact that I'm going to keep my home in such a manner that it can be used at any moment, to bless those God brings in our path. We will have an open door policy and when God says "help them, host them, feed them, etc" we will. It may be neighborhood children who need a positive environment where they can relax and be themselves. It may be teenagers from our son's school, looking for a place to get away and escape the stress of home. It may be friends, co-workers, or others who need a place to stay. I have no idea. But I do know this home was not given to us for our own comfort, for our own enjoyment. I firmly believe God has blessed us for the sole purpose of being a blessing to others. So that's where we will start--at home.
Here's the catch--I don't think this "idea" was given to me alone. I believe it applies to all of us, no matter where we are in life, no matter if we have a little or have much. As Jesus said in Matthew 25:35
"For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in..." (NIV)
It wasn't a command for the rich or for the poor...it was a command for us all. Won't you join me? How can YOU give back? Can you open your home? Do you have time you can spare to serve somewhere? Do you have items you can donate to a local shelter? Each of us can give, somehow. And for some reason, I believe the biggest blessing will come in the giving...
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