I want to be clear though. We are BLESSED. We should NOT have any information on our daughter at this point. She's not technically even in the system. Yet, by God's grace, we continue to get bits and pieces of information, some big, some small--but ALL blessings.
We got word last week that she's further behind in the "process" of becoming adoptable than we had previously thought. Based on where she currently is, and judging from the journeys others have been on at the same point in the process, it could easily be another 6 months before her file is even ready--before she's officially adoptable. And from the time we get matched, with any child, the average time is 4-6 months before we get to travel to get her. SO...add those up. Yep. It could easily be another YEAR before we are able to hold our little girl. Now you can understand why I've been rather quiet.
Part of me is heartbroken and physically pained when I consider another entire year of not having my daughter home. Yet part of me is extremely grateful that, if we must wait, at least we wait knowing that she's in foster care...she's in a family home setting and not an orphanage where cribs line the walls and open spaces and the children are institutionalized. She is safe and loved and happy. Still another part of me asks Why? Why must we wait this long when we love her so much? When we'd gladly leave TOMORROW to get her if it was possible? Why is THIS the process for us when we sit back and watch so many others have a straight-forward, "typical" international adoption?
And yet (and I know we've said this time and again) she's worth every pain, every frustration, every discomfort, every piece of paperwork...all of it...including the wait. No matter how long it takes, no matter what we must go through, no matter how many people tell us "maybe it's time to look at other children"...we will wait. You may not understand or you may just think we're nuts, but she's our daughter. It's that simple.
So she's clearly taking the long road home. Not by anyone's choice. Not by anyone's preference. Not even to anyone's understanding. Only God, in His infinite wisdom, knows why this is the road we are on, the road she is on. Maybe it will be clear someday. Maybe we'll never know this side of heaven. Either way, we continue to wait, to hope, to pray.
We covet your prayers during this time. Some days are easier than others. Some days are horrible. If we come to mind on any given day, please stop to say a prayer for us. It may just be one of those days we desperately need it. :)
4 comments:
I don't know your whole story, but I do want to say that we were connected with our daughter before her paperwork was ready, and started the process on our side while we waited. I found out about her almost a year ago, and we should be traveling next month, so it hasn't been any longer than the "typical" (snort) adoption, but I do know the agony of waiting 5 months for that specific file to be ready. Hang in there!
Thank you SO much for your encouragement! It's so good to hear of people in similar situations and how things worked for them! :)
We are early in our process, so maybe we will go to C together :) We got PA on 4/19 and are just starting the HS process. We are dying to bring our daughter home. Praying that you will feel the nearness of God like never before. Hold fast, momma!! Psalm 34:18 <3
Sami, thank you so much for your kind words! I hope that through my blog and my facebook groups I'm able to "meet" many families that we can travel with!!
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